Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
