great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
