Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
