My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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