The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize