Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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