It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
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I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
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Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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