Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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