the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
