Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
