He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
