I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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