chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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