when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
