Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
