I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
