the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
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the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
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Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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