Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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