Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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