I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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