My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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