hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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