yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
