I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
