I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
