hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
