i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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