You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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