Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
