Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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