Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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