i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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