...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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