i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
