You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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