and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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