Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
