Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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