we have pet lesbian snakes
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
