um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
