can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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