Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
