It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
