This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
