If i come over, it means nothing
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Naked Twister starts at high noon
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
