i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
