I CAN MOONWALK!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
