Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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