It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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