Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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