You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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