I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
