You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Someone came in the potted fern
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
