I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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