in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
