So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
