On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
