All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
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can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
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I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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