Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
